Trespass on private property and shoot your gun off nice and early
in order wake and scare the hell out of any potential non-hunter
Step 2. Argue with said homeowners, insist that you have a right to
be there, and refuse to leave.
Step 3. Even though the home owners tell you that they feed the
ducks corn and, deny seeing any bait and insist that feeding ducks
is illegal (even though you later find out it is perfectly legal).
Continue to hunt, after all, you have a right!
Step 4. If the homeowners become more aggressive in order protect
their home and family, be sure to contact an Environmental
Conservation officer and have them charged with a "Hunter
Harassment" charge that has no chance of sticking. You've got a
point to prove.
Step 5. You're making progress! Now you've got the homeowner (who
was previously in favor of hunting) in a corner so that they have to
file charges against your illegal hunting, even if they would have
previously dropped the issue. Once the homeowner files charges
against you, and you find out that the homeowner was right and does
own to the low water mark, be sure to lie and say you never pulled
your boat out of the water. Don't worry about the witnesses; the
attorney that your buddies will chip in to pay, will get you off.
Step 6. Push your point as far as possible by making sure that the
courts, legislators, newspapers, TV reporters, and the 93% of the
population that are non-hunters (who previously had never had an
opinion one way or the other about duck hunting) are aware that
there is an antiquated law on the books that allows you to be zero
distance from an occupied home as long as you are shooting out over
open water. Make sure you shout from the highest soapbox that you
can find that shooting right up next to an occupied home is
currently legal in your state. After all, those anti-hunting, bunny
loving, tree huggers (and all the new recruits you just created) are
going to find it difficult to change the law. (However, they will!)
Step 7. Once you're home free and the courts have dropped the
charges against you, lay low. After all, it didn't cost you
anything, heck you may have even made money on the deal and those
suckers on the chat sites that sent you donations to cover your
attorney fees will never know the difference. Besides, you now have
enough people angry enough so that this fight will take on a life of
Step 8. By now it's getting interesting. The homeowners are banding
together statewide, getting petitions signed, and contacting their
legislators. Be sure to encourage your hunting buddies to do the
same because there is power in numbers and after all 7% of the
population..., well maybe not all 7%, but a bunch of guys are going
to agree that you have a God given right to hunt in the same places
your granddad hunted, even if it no longer makes sense.
Step 9. Now is when the real fun begins. Those guys that you've left
to clean up your mess are all rocket scientists, and you can sit
back and watch as they fight for your right to hunt in places that
most of them wouldn't have considered hunting in before you decided
to assert your rights.
Step 10. Encourage every hunting organization you can find to help
fight against even reasonable legislation that would match
surrounding states. After all, there's a slippery slope & and
unintended consequences, and if you work real hard at it you may be
able to get even more people to dig in their heals and turn more
people against other kinds of hunting too. Think how proud you'll